RoseWattleWriting

Viet Thanh Nguyen’s story “Someone Else Besides You” offers readers an extraordinary
insight into an intriguing life that transcends a single culture. The story shows the generational
imperfections instilled in human beings by the tribulation’s life presents, and how the older
generation internalizes those experiences, forming a calloused personal disposition. It’s an
example of a person who was affected by second-hand psychological trauma. This story is not
just a story of Thomas’ life, but rather an example of how life can spiral out of one’s
reach, with the nearly impossible task of managing the love of an impossible father and the
phenomenon of women. It is a guide to overcoming life’s physical and psychological obstacles
and to realizing that no matter the circumstances, what truly matters to them is what they must
come to terms with.
Mr. P’s relationship with women profoundly influences not only Thomas’ perspective on
women but also his personal relationship with his ex-wife, Sam. Thomas compares the
similarities between his mother and his father’s long-term mistress, Mimi, and it seems to build
resentment towards his father’s infidelity with women. Mr. P’s promiscuous antics seem to have
caused strife within their home, prompting Thomas to reminisce about domestic arguments
between his parents, which he places on his father’s shoulders. Due to his father’s approach
towards women, Thomas tends to have a negative outlook on his relationships with the women in
the story. His mother is portrayed as someone who slowly dwindled away with a life of sadness
from the fights with Mr. P, eventually succumbing to losing her physical health and dying
tragically in their kitchen while cooking for an ungrateful man. Nguyen’s pessimistic perspective
on Mimi directly corresponds to the connection both his mother and Mr. P had with her. On one
hand, he doesn’t want anything to do with the woman who was involved in the betrayal of his
mother, but on the other hand, he is confused as to why Mimi would voluntarily involve herself
with a man that she knows will cheat on her as well, all under the watchful eyes of her deceased
husband’s picture. Nguyen, even in defiance of the situation, blatantly says to Mimi, “You know
he’s going to cheat on you, don’t you?” (Nguyen, 2017). Finally, Sam, the former spouse, got
away. If there was ever a relationship with a woman affected by Nguyen’s outlook on
relationships because of his father’s life, it was this one. Sam seemed to be in an uphill battle
trying to break a generational curse of failed marriages. Yet another example of Nguyen’s
inability to overcome his tainted outlook on relationships cost him his marriage when Sam
expressed her desire to have a child with Thomas, and being neglected by fears of Thomas’
becoming the same father that raised him.
To understand the characters’ personalities, one must immerse oneself in the cultures
presented in the story. Mr. P was born into a very strict communist culture during the Vietnam War
The war era caused him to flee his country and become a political refugee. Mr. P comes from a
time and place where becoming a man can be in the form of a rite of passage and having to
accomplish certain things, like having children, to be considered a “real man.” During the
1960’s, women didn’t have the same rights as they do today, and it was culturally expected for a
woman to be in servitude to her husband, which explains why the women in Mr. P’s life
tended to accept certain aspects of their relationship with him. It’s clear that the most influential
culture in Mr. P’s life was the military. Having joined the military and fought in the
War, he realized that military culture profoundly influenced his way of life. The cultural
influences that taught Mr. P how to survive and succeed were the very things that caused Nguyen
to shrink physically and psychologically. Nguyen didn’t want to be straightened, wearing his
pants with creases and his shirt tucked in, the way his father did. The thought of waking up early
in the mornings and going on intense workouts was a painful memory for him. Therefore, the
more Mr. P pushes, the more reverse occurs, and Nguyen becomes a little heavier and a bit
scruffier in his adult years. The mindset that helped the father survive life’s struggles is the very
thing that’s destroying the son.
The dichotomy is that, even though Nguyen may see his father in a negative light in
many ways, he still has a level of awe for him. The way that he sees his father is more of a
flawed superhero. A man who is very well put together and at least was able to compartmentalize
his life and keep things together for the most part. Nguyen describes Mr. P as a very short man,
but people didn’t realize it because he remained physically impressive even in his old age, as he
reminisced about “His body remained trim enough to fit into the vintage camouflage
paratrooper’s uniform that he’d worn during the war”. (Nguyen, 2017). Even with all the
negatives that come with a man like Mr. P, there are characteristics he shows that Nguyen may
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have needed. Even though it may have been a little rough around the edges, Mr. P showed
Nguyen that he cared about him in his own way. He forced him to get a haircut. He loved
Nguyen and showed it in toxic ways by beating up other kids’ dads and destroying Sam’s car
because he felt that he needed to defend his son’s honor. In the end, the “grab the bull by the
horns” mentality of his father may have been the very thing that gave him the courage to look
past his insecurities and fears of becoming his father, telling Sam, “I can be the father.” (Nguyen,
2017). It wasn’t until Mr. P decided to take action and force Nguyen to face the problems that he
began to take action on what he really wanted in life, proving that even as flawed as he was,
there was at least a small amount of method to Mr. P’s methods. Even as damaging and toxic
as they could be at times.
In conclusion, “Someone Else Besides You” navigates a story of culture, failed
relationships, mental health, love, hope, and desire. Thomas is afraid to live his life and move on
with his wife to grow their own family due to the psychological effects of his father’s toxic
masculinity that was created to help him survive a tough life, but eventually comes to the point
that he can put his insecurities behind him because the one thing that scares him most is the very
thing that can fulfill his life. The story is left open, but it suggests that Thomas realizes he wasn’t
his father, that Sam wasn’t his mother, and that creating a family, regardless of the situation, may
be what saved him.

Nguyen, Viet Thanh. “Someone Else Besides You.” The Refugees, Grove Press, 2017, pp. 187–
213.